http://xxtokiohotel.buzznet.com/user/ en-us 40 http://xxtokiohotel.buzznet.com/user/journal/2890031/no-regrets-chapter-3-bet/ trying to fix up right now.
so look out for a new chapter sometime soon.

and sorry it took so long, i've been pretty busy. :/
i honestely hate this chapter, so i spent hours trying to fix it, without to much sucess.

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Yulia

"Back so soon?" Meika asked as I entered our apartment.

"What are you still doing up?" Meika is hyper and upbeat. She's really honest and says whatever comes to mind. She's also really impatient, so what she asked me next came to me as no surprise. "How was he? Was he hott? Good in bed?" She paused, literally only for a second, "Oh, no! He was horrible, wasn't he!? Is that why you're home so early!?"

"Nothing like that happened, Meika," I went over and sat down on the couch beside her, "We just danced."

"Nuh uhh," she shook her head, "I know you better then that."

"I'm serious."

"No way!" Giovanna popped out from nowhere. Giovanna is Meika's twin. They are pretty much exactly the same. "Are you actually trying to convince us, us, your best friends, that you didn't have sex tonight?"

"I'm not trying to convince you anything, I'm just being honest."

"You're lying," they said at the same time.

"Why are you guys still awake? Weren't you two drunk at the club?"

"No, not really," Giovanna smiled, "And we did sleep, for about an hour, until Meika woke both of us up."

"I rolled off the bed," Meika nodded, like she was proud.

"Okay," I nodded slowly, "Well I'm gunna go to bed," I got off the couch and made my way to my bedroom.

***

"Uhh, she's busy," I heard Katie say. I looked up to see her standing in my doorway, with the phone pressed against her ear, "Breakfast? Don't you think it's kind of late for breakfast?" I looked at my clock, it was almost 2pm. "I'm not making plans for her," she continued, starting to sound pissed off, "Oh yeah? What if she's busy?" She tapped her foot, "No! Why don't you just, uhm, call back?" She sounded unsure, "Okay, I'll tell her.." She sounded even more unsure, "But don't be surprised if she doesn't show up," she added in quickly, "Yeah, okay. Bye.." She rolled her eyes as she hung up the phone and threw it on my bed, "Since when do you give guys your number?"

"Since, uhh, last night," I smiled cheekily.

"I thought you gave up on guys."

"I did," I nodded, "But I didn't sleep with this guy, so I felt bad," I laughed lightly.

"Yeah, okay," she rolled her eyes, "So which cocky asshole was I just talking to?"

"Dreadlock boy," I nodded my head, proud.

"Tom Kaulitz!?" Her eyes grew wide.

"I didn't get his last name.." I shrugged.

"You slept with Tom Kaulitz!?"

"Just danced," I replied, getting out of bed, "Who is he anyways?"

"Uhh, just one of the hottest twins, ever," she said in her 'duh' tone.

"If he's a twin, then how do you know I gave my number to Tom, and not the other one?" I challenged, although I had no idea whether or not he was identical.

"Because his brother was the hot one with the lion hair and makeup." I thought back, trying to remember someone with 'lion hair' and makeup. No one really came to mind, surprisingly. "Fuck," Katie whispered.

"What?"

"I was just a complete bitch to Tom on the phone."

"So?" I wasn't really seeing the problem. She was a bitch to him on the phone, not like it was in person.

"So he's hot!!"

"So there's plenty of hot guys out there."

"Shut up."

I smiled, then begun to walk past her when she grabbed my arm, "He wants to meet you at the coffee shop in an hour."

"An hour? I just woke up," I pointed out that it takes well over an hour to get ready.

"He'll wait. He said he's not taking no for an answer," she smiled.

"Nah," I shook my head lightly, "I'll just call him and tell him I'm busy."

"No, no!" She was quick to say, "He's not taking no for an answer," she repeated.

"I'll say you never told me," I grinned.

"No! He already thinks I'm a bitch! Please go! He's really funny, and a really big player, just like you."

"Thanks," I wasn't too sure if that was a compliment, but I took it as one. She started pushing me towards the bathroom, and instead of fighting back, I let her.

***

"No, no, my hair isn't right," I muttered to myself as I tried to fix it with my straightener.

"It looks fine," Katie said. I jumped as I turned to find Katie standing in the entrance of the bathroom. "For being so reluctant in going to 'breakfast' with him, you're putting a lot of time into this," she felt the need to point out, coming to stand beside me.

"No I'm not," I fought back, "My hair just looks, poofy."

"Decided what you're going to wear yet?"

"Shit! No! What should I wear? Miniskirt and a tshirt? Or a tank top? Maybe pants. What am I talking about? I never wear pants. A dress? No, too fancy," I stopped myself once I realized what I was doing.

Katie just smiled, "A lot of time into this," she repeated, "And for Tom, I'd go with a miniskirt and a revealing top."

"Really?"

"He's a player," she smiled, "And I think he likes you more then a one night stand type of thing."

"Oh, yeah. Because you know him soo well," I rolled my eyes.

"He's said he doesn't really believe in relationships that last more then two days."

"Well then, this is day two."

She rolled her eyes, "Meaning one night stands. He doesn't usually call a girl to go to 'breakfast' with him."

"Do you stalk this guy or something?" I stopped straightening my hair and turned it off.

"Not stalk. But I know the basics about him, and Bill.. and Gustav and Georg."

"Who?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Bill, lion hair and makeup boy. Gustav, quiet one with short blond hair. Georg, long straight dirty blond hair, also known at the 'hobbit'," she said too quickly, making me having the think for a second. Then it clicked, 'I don't think the hobbit will be coming back anytime soon'. So Tom's buddy who had 'attacked' me is Georg.

"The hobbit," I repeated to myself.

"Yeah, they make fun of him all the time."

"Stalker," I laughed and walked out of the bathroom, opening my closet and grabbing my shortest jean mini skirt, then grabbing a low cut top.

"I don't stalk them!" She followed me. She stared at me as I picked out my outfit, then smiled, "Perfect."

***

I stepped into the small coffee shop and immediately spotted Tom; he was sitting at a table for two in the corner. For some reason, I got butterflies in my stomach, "Nothing serious," I whispered to myself, not quite understanding why I was.. nervous?

"Hey Yulia," he winked at me.

"Hey," I smiled, sitting down across from him.

As he looked down, probably at my boobs, I couldn't help but stare. He was wearing a white cap and a white baggy tshirt, like he had the other night except in a different color. Even though his clothes were ten times to big for him, I could tell that he was pretty skinny. I stared into his eyes, which had me lost in my own world. Those eyes can just, melt you. Then more I stared, the more surprised I was that he hadn't caught me yet.

"Earth to Yulia.."

So maybe he did catch me staring, "Oh, sorry," I quickly lowered my eyes, "Just in my own world."

He laughed and I could feel him staring, so I looked up, "You look dead sexy in that outfit," he smiled. I felt my cheeks get hot, and knew I was blushing, something I rarely do. He kept smiling, "So, single?" Was all he said.

I nodded, "Yup, you?" Before I could let him answer, I began talking again, "Never mind, I know you're.." I stopped myself, decided it would be creepy if I had said 'I know you're single', "your type," I finished my sentence, then mentally slapped myself.

"My type?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Player.." Was all I could say.

"Yeah, you got me there," he laughed lightly, "I usually don't ask girls for their number," he smiled, obviously hinting something towards me. God, he had a beautiful smile.

"I'm the same way, and I usually don't give out my number," I smiled back.

"Looks like we're on the same page, then."

For whatever reason, that seamed to have completely take away my nervousness, and the rest of the time in the coffee shop was spent with non-stop talking and laughing. I found out that everything Katie as said was true. She had described Bill, Georg, and Gustav pretty well in a couple of seconds. It seemed like she stalks all four of them. Creep. Anyways, we stayed at the coffee shop for an hour or two, maybe longer, I lost track of time. We got kicked out of the coffee shop, since neither of us ordered anything, and he offered to walk me back to my apartment, which I gladly let him do. Outside of my apartment, he gave me hug and I promised that we'd hang out again sometime soon. He was just turning around to leave, when I yelled out to him, something else I never used to do, "Wait! Want to come in for a drink or something?" I asked, and when he didn't respond right away, I quickly added in, "Because you, uhh, were nice enough to walk me back to my apartment, you know.."

"Sure," a huge grin appeared on his face as he followed me into the apartment. Thankfully, neither of my roommates were home. I grabbed two beers and we sat beside each other on the couch. It was the same as the coffee shop, non-stop talking and laughing. I pretended not to notice when Tom's arm reached around my shoulder. For some reason, him having his arm there just made me feel safe and comfortable. What happened next came as a surprise. I knew he thought I was hot, and he knew I thought he was hot, but I honestly didn't expect it. He just didn't seem like the cheesy pickup line type of player, and I'm not one to fall for a cheesy pickup line either. But this time, I did.

"Dancing is probably my biggest passion in life," I answered his question about my passions, "You?"

"Guitar," he paused, staring into my eyes, "And you."

I laughed a little at first, but when he face started to move closer to mine, I stopped. I stared back at him, kind of in shock, but then moved my face closer to his. We closed the gap and shared a soft, sweet kiss. Time seemed to completely slow down. The kiss itself felt like heaven, and our lips seemed to fit together perfectly. We pulled away for a second, both of us with fire in our eyes. In a matter on seconds, we were kissing again, this time with much more force, and I was lying on the couch beneath Tom.

"Wait," I breathed heavily, "Condom?"

He simply nodded then started kissing me again. Impatient little bugger. But I shouldn't be talking. Before I knew it, both of our shirts were off and we were working on each others pants. But of course, one of my roommates had to ruin it. Neither of us had realized that the front door opened, until she spoke up.

"Uhh, Yulia," Katie was standing behind the couch, "Bedroom," she pointed to my bedroom door, "If I wanted to watch porn, I'd look it up on the internet," she smirked, then walked back into the kitchen, where she was emptying grocery bags.

We sat up on the couch and I fixed my hair, "Sorry."

"Oh, shit, I should get going anyways," Tom spoke up as he stared at the clock on the wall.

"Why? We were.." just getting started. I thought about finishing my sentence, but then decided against it.

"I have to do an interview soon." Interview?

"Quickie?" I said without even realizing it.

He laughed, "I wish, but I was supposed to be back more then an hour ago," he stood up and grabbed his top, quickly but carefully putting it on, then leaned closer, "Another time." I nodded and grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer for a kiss. He was just too hot, I couldn't resist one more kiss. He pulled away smiling, then left the apartment, but not before taking a second to stop and checkout Katie.

Once the door closed, Katie turned to look at me. She was silent for a second, like she was thinking, "You don't look that bad in red, you should wear it more often."

I looked down at my bright red bra, "Thanks?" I said before grabbing my top and walking into my bedroom.

***

That night all four of us stayed in and watched a movie together, but the attention was more on me then the move.

"How did it go?" Giovanna asked. I guess Katie had told her about 'breakfast' with Tom.

"How long did it last?" Meika added, "Did you go to his house, or did he come her?"

"It's not what you think, and it's none of your business."

"She's being defensive!" Giovanna cried, giving Meika a high five, "That means she likes him!"

I raised an eyebrow at them, they were such little kids, "We're friends."

"Not from what I saw," Katie chimed in.

"Shut up, Katie."

"You're friends with benefits, at least."

"I think you two are more," Giovanna added.

"I think you're going to fall for him," Meika smiled.

"I bet I'm not," I instantly regretted saying that, Giovanna and Meika love making bets.

"You wanna bet?" They said at the same time, as expected. "Fifty dollars if you're still with him in four weeks," Meika held out her hand.

"Count me in, too," Giovanna held out her hand beisde Meika's.

"Me too," Katie smirked, holding out her hand.

I stared at the three hands before me, my heart telling me to shy away and my head telling me the complete opposite, "Deal," my head won and I shook all of their hands one by one, "All of you just lost fifty bucks." But on the inside, I wasn't so confident. I had a strong feeling that 150$ would be missing from my wallet a month from now. But who am I to turn down a bet?

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uhh, yeah..
]]> Buzznet xxtokiohotel 2008-08-20T12:45:00Z http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-thumb.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-synd.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-mob.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-gallery.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-large.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-feat.gif 6 0 http://xxtokiohotel.buzznet.com/user/journal/2760421/no-regrets-chapter-2-somewhat/ but only the first two chapters are like that, just to introduce the characters and stuff.
nothing else repeats like this ;p.


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Tom's point of view

People used to see me as a very self-centered and carefree person, and looking back now I guess I really was. I used to not care about anyone but me, my family, and my really close friends. In my opinion everyone else could have gone to Hell. At least, until I got famous. Then I changed, slightly. I cared about my fans, but when they rambled on about their pets or some random shit, I'd zone out. Did it really look like I wanted to hear that shit? I just didn't care. I had a great life as far as I was concerned. Girls surrounded me everywhere I went. Sex was a nightly event. Sex in different cities. Being a rock star had great perks. Every night, after a show, I'd pick a hot babe to bring back to my room and fuck her. I never gave any girl my number, but always took theirs. I'd save it in my phone and tell them I'd call. Half of the them would actually believe it, the other half would smile and say 'no you won't, but it was fun'. Those were my favorite kind of groupies. I never did change my rock and roll ways until I met Yulia, the hot babe teasing me with her dances moves. Bill, Georg, Gustav, and I were all in L.A. for our first mini North American tour. I, as always, came up with the genius idea of going to a club. And Bill, as always, whined about how much he hated having a room on the same floor as mine. Bill's my bitchy twin brother. No matter what people say, he's still a little bitch. But he's my brother, and I love him.. dawgs. It still find it kind of girly saying that I love my brother, so I always throw the first word to pop into mind. Bill always says it ruins the moment, but as I said before, he's a bitch. Anyways, we were on out way to what was supposedly one of the hottest clubs in L.A. Georg, who was and still is a hobbit, was driving with Gustav in the passenger seat, and Bill and I in the back. Without us knowing, Bill had already dug into the alcohol from the fridge in his hotel room. Meaning that he was already drunk, before we even left for the club.

"Tom," Bill whispered, "Tom," he whispered again, "Tom," he kept going, "Tom," it was about then I realized that the tone in his voice hadn't changed. He started poking me while whispering my name, still not figuring out that he could just raise his voice.

I was going to wait until he figured it out, but then realized he wouldn't, "What?" I whispered back in the exact same tone as him.

"HOLY SHIT!" He scared the living shit out of Georg, causing him to slam on the brakes, frantically asking what's wrong, "WHAT!? WHAT'S WRONG!?"

"DID YOU HEAR THHAAATTT!?" Bill asked, all excited.

"Hear what?" Georg remembered Bill was drunk, and kept driving.

"Tom. He hassma vurce!"

"Vurce?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Ohhmmyyyggodd. Yur hihihilarious."

"What are you talking about!?" Gustav shot his head around to face him.

Bill shifted his eyes too look at him, then looked back at Gustav, holding his hand up to his mouth so I couldn't see him. He leaned it towards Gustav, and thought he was whispering, "He stole my voice," he started giggling uncontrollably, "Jussakidden! Can't steal mavoice"

Bill caused Georg and I to burst into a fit of laughter, while Gustav shook his head, "You're a twin, dumbass. You have almost the same voice."

"Imanot stoopid," Bill leaned back, seaming to understand. He looked down at his legs, then mine, "We look conjoinnn" He giggled while poking my leg. It took me a minute to realize he meant 'conjoined'. He poked a spot I was ticklish in and I jumped slightly. "Oh," he clapped his hands in excitement, "You mooved your leg and I felddit!"

"Drive faster," Gustav ordered Georg. Gustav was even more of a bitch then Bill. He always hated when Bill got drunk, unless he was drunk too. Bill has always been and always will be the biggest dumbass alive when he's drunk. Once we reached the club, Gustav was the first one to jump out of the car, staying ahead of us as we walked in the club. I, being Bill's twin and the one that cares about him the most, was the one that had to help Bill into the club. He didn't actually need help, but I was there just in case. Once inside the club, Bill ran full force towards the bar, and I somehow lost Georg and Gustav. I didn't really care though, because there were babes everywhere. As I was dancing with a widely drunk brunette, I noticed a blond dancing on a table. She was wearing a tight tank top with a miniskirt. Damn, did it ever make her body look perfect. I think she noticed me looking at her, because she started dancing better then she was earlier. After awhile of secretly observing her, I noticed that she was walking towards the back.

"Georg!" I practically pushed the girl I was dancing with off, looking around for Georg. I found him sitting at the bar and pushed his shoulders from behind.

"What the fuck is your problem!?" He turned around, probably thinking I was some random dude, "Oh, hey."

"Sooo listen. Total blond babe, hot body, I need you to do something."

He rolled his eyes, "Just, go tell her you're Tom Kaulitz."

"We're in L.A. dumbass. Not everyone knows who I am, although they should," I joked.

"Fine, but you owe me," he reluctantly got up.

I started walking to where I had saw the girl go, passing by two girls giggling on the floor. "Hey," I winked at them as we passed. They said something at the same time, which I did not catch. It sounded like 'Giovameikna', so I assumed they had said their names, or spoke another language. "See you later," I winked again, although they probably couldn't see me winking from that far away. We kept walking, going one way then turning back around to go the other. I saw a door open and a brunette come out, "Hey," I winked at her.

"Hi Tom," she smiled. Finally, someone in this club knew who I was. I thought about just taking her back to the hotel, but decided for the blond. I smiled at her then winked, "Later," I said as Georg and I walked through the door, finally finding the blond and seeing her walk out the back door.

"Go, now," I ordered.

"Okay, okay," Georg pushed his way through the door. I waited for a second, until I heard a girl shriek for him to let go.

I stepped outside, "STOP!" God, I love yelling at Georg. He turned around and widened his eyes before he ran off, which was fucking hilarious.

"Are you okay?" I walked up to her, placing my arm on her shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she answered slowly, looking up at me in disbelief. I thought that maybe she knew who I was, that I didn't need Georg's help. "Uhh, thank," she smiled.

I smiled back, realizing how much hotter she was up close, "No problem. I'm Tom," I lifted my arm off her should and offered my hand for her to shake.

"Yulia," she took my hand. I noticed her staring at my hands, then even lower at the ground or something. Then I noticed her take a quick glance at my buddy as she smiled to herself.

"You look like you're in need of a good time after what just happened," I winked.

"Oh, okay, I get it."

"Get what?" Not going to lie, my heart was pounding.

"Use that trick on every girl you meet at a club?" She smirked at me.

I debated whether or not to deny it, or laugh and admit to it. Usually, I would deny it, but for whatever reason, I didn't, "You've been around the block," I laughed, then cringed, hoping she didn't take that in the wrong way.

"I'm a dancer at a club, I've seen it all. So really, how many girls do you use that one on?"

"Only the pretty ones," I winked at her.

"Pretty ones? I bet you just did it because you love my body."

"Your face ain't bad either," I through in a hick accent, which was apparently funny. I smiled, thinking that I definitely got her now, "Let's go," I pulled at her arm.

"Where?" She stopped laughing and stopped letting me pull her. I winked at her then pulled her arm until she was standing beside me. "No," she took a step away. No? I thought she was crazy or something at that point. "I'm supposed to meet up with a friend," she continued. Classic lie girls use.

"Then at least come back in the club and dance with me once?" I wasn't just going to let a catch like her walk away.

She shook her head no, then shook it yes, "Well I guess since you did save me," she joked as I grabbed her arm and pulled her back into the club. She was one heck of a dancer. Best part was, after one dance, she didn't turn away. I don't remember how long we danced for, but it was definitely more then a couple of hours. But of course, something had to ruin it, and that something was her phone. She just stopped dancing and reached into her pocket. I hadn't even felt it or heard it, so I have no idea how she did. "Shit! I should get home!" She yelled.

"Why!?" Not like I wanted to yell at her, but I had to to be heard.

"I was supposed to meet up with a friend!" So maybe she wasn't lying..?

"Oh, right. Well, at least let me walk you to your car."

"In case my attacker comes back?" She joked as we walked out of the club.

"Ahh, I don't think the hobbit will be coming back anytime soon." Maybe I shouldn't have referred to Georg as 'the hobbit' in front of her, but it's a habit. She seemed kind of confused, then to my surprise, laughed. Once at her car, I leaned up against the drivers door, blocking her for getting in, "So, can I have your number?" At this time, I wasn't sure if I was asking for her number out of habit, or actually wanting it. She agreed and wrote it on the back of a receipt. "Thanks," I smiled, pocketing the number. I opened my arms for a hug - something I never used to do - and she did the same. "Have a safe ride home," I was shocking myself. I didn't even think before I said that, but I knew I was about to say something. I was expecting something along to lines of 'tonight was fun' or 'you sure you have to go?' to some out of my mouth, but 'have a safe ride home' beat out my usual comments. She got in her car and drove away, leaving me waving like an idiot. Once her car was out of sight, I pulled out the receipt with her number on it. It looked like a fairly simple number to remember, which was a good thing at the time. I stared at the number for about ten minutes, then turned over the receipt to see what she had bought. At the very bottom of it, there was a large number, 187.93$. She works at a dance club but spent almost two hundred dollars at one store? I looked at the top of the receipt to see what store she could had possibly spent it at.

Victoria's Secret.

Not going to lie, as soon as I read the name of the store, my exact thoughts were 'Only 187.93$!? At Victoria's Secret!? She should have bought the whole store!' Yeah, at that point, I was still somewhat of a player.


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commeenntt :)
and sorry for any mistakes.
]]> Buzznet xxtokiohotel 2008-07-28T20:39:00Z http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-thumb.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-synd.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-mob.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-gallery.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-large.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-feat.gif 14 0 http://xxtokiohotel.buzznet.com/user/journal/2741861/new-story-no-regrets-chapter/ this chapter isn't that great, but i hope you like it :)

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Yulia's point of view;

I never understood - and still don't understand - why people can't be happy with the simple things in life. What's the point of having goals, aspirations, hopes, and dreams when we'll never achieve them? Okay, that's a lie. We might achieve them, but I'm not the girl to be striving for something I might get, fuck that. I guess I had led a rather simple life up to that point. I was twenty-one, and was living in an apartment I shared with my three best friends, Katie, Giovanna, and Meika. So maybe I lied. I never had a simple life, more of a fucked up one, at least up until the point I moved in with my best friends. Maybe I moved out when I was fifteen, but at least I graduated high school. It's not like I moved far, just on the other side of town with my older sister, Cassie. But that's not to say I stayed there for long. I moved out of her house right before my sixteenth birthday and moved in with my best friend Katie. I lived there until the summer, when I decided to move out of there and do things on my own. Well I somehow ended up downtown, bumming money and living on the streets. Eventually, I found a job at some random dance studio. The owner, Chris, loved me, and began giving me free dance lessons. I was a dancer right up until the time I left my parent's house and thank god I found Chris, because I never realized how much I missed dance until I started again. When it was time for school to start again, I stayed downtown, living with Chris and going to a nearby school. I completed one semester before getting expelled for drug and alcohol use on school property, what shitbags. I took a year off school and worked full time at the dance studio, becoming an assistant and eventually a teacher. My choreography, was.. out of this world. I don't look at myself as a creative person, at least when I'm sober. I was always on some kind of drug when I taught. It was pretty fun, but I got fired. I bet I'm the only one who has ever been fired for the reason I was; I claimed I could fly and jumped off the roof of the studio, and might have landed on a kid. The kid wasn't that badly hurt, what's a broken arm and leg when I could have killed him? Eventually, after moving around from town to town, getting job after job, and getting fired from all of them, going from school to school, and getting expelled from each of them, I finally settled down - well, sort of. I moved in with Katie, Giovanna, and Meika, who shared an apartment in L.A, but I moved in on one condition; I quit drugs and drinking. The only way they could make sure I quit, was by controlling my money. They knew when I got payed, and how much I should have gotten payed. I wasn't aloud to spend my money unless one of them was with me. It was there, in L.A., that I got over my drug and alcohol addiction. It was there that finally graduated high school at age twenty. Right after high school, I went on the hunt for a well paying job. Upon mistake, I landed a job as a dancer, but it's not what you're thinking. I got a job as a dancer at a club, the best job I could get. But I wasn't complaining. All I had to do was let my body move with the music and have fun. Sometimes I'd dance with guys, but again, not complaining. Guys seemed to love me there, and the owner of the club noticed. I kept getting raises and eventually became the manager of the club. Everyone tells me that my life has changed drastically since I quite drugs and alcohol. But the sun and the moon still seemed to follow me around, so I didn't think things were that different.

If I had died then and there, I would have died happy. Yeah I went through some hard times, but I never regretted it, and I still don't regret it. Everything happens for a reason, so why bother wasting my life regretting something that's in the past? After all, your life could change in a matter of seconds.
With moving around a lot, from city to city and school to school, I never really had that many boyfriends. Well, I have one boyfriend, to be correct, and it only lasted a couple of weeks. Not to mention out relationship was based purely on physical attraction. When we were together, we were having sex. Yeah, I guess you could say I was more of a one-night-stand type of girl. I had given up on love, well, I never gave love a chance. Katie would always tell me that I shouldn't give up because there were still plenty of fish in the sea. At the time, I'd roll my eyes when she'd tell me that. I didn't care what she said, but now I see just how right she was.

You remember how I told you that your life could change in a matter of seconds? Well my life did just that. It started off as any other day would. It was a Friday night, and being the manager of the club, I got Katie, Giovanna, and Meika in no problem, as usual. After doing barely any manager-like work, I decided to hit the dance floor. About halfway through the night a really good-looking guy caught my eye. He had dreadlocks and was wearing a hat. His clothes were so big that I could fit in them with him, but he was downright sexy. My instant reaction after noticing him was to dance my very best, making sure to do all of my sexiest moves. I don't think he payed attention to me, and if he did, I didn't notice. Eventually, I started getting tired. With no alcohol in my system to keep me going, I decided to leave. I headed for the back hallway and on my way there saw Katie, Giovanna, and Meika sitting on the floor, giggling like mad.

"Drunk?" I asked as I walked by.

"Proud to say that I am not drunk!" Katie smiled and stood up, following me into the back hallway then into another room, "But they are," she nodded in the direction of the two other girls, who had stayed seated on the floor. "God, there were so many hotties here tonight!"

"I know. Dreadlock boy; I want him in my pants!" I said with a childish grin on my face.

"Sure that won't be hard," she laughed with me. But what I didn't know, was that she wasn't kidding. I had no idea who 'dreadlock boy' was at that time.

I laughed, grabbing my purse to leave, "I'll see you later."

"Woah, woah. Where are you going?"

"Home? We came in two separate cars, if you remember."

"Oh, okay. See you later," she smiled and walked back in the direction we had come from. For whatever reason, I waited until she was out of sight before I walked out the back door. As I left the building, I had the sudden feeling that I was being followed. I stopped walking, but when my footsteps stop, someone's sped up. I quickly turned to see the man reaching out to grab my purse.

I screamed as the man pulled at my purse, "LET GO!" I fought back, I wasn't about to give up my purse with all of my valuables in it.

"STOP!" another man's voice entered the equation. The guy trying to grab my purse's eyes shifted slightly to look at who just yelled at him. His eyes widened and he let go, running off before I could even realize. I stared down at my purse, slightly shocked that I was still holding it.

"Are you okay?" asked the man who had showed up at the perfect moment, as he walked up to me and place his arm on my shoulder

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied slowly, looking in disbelief at the man standing beside me. Dreadlock boy!?

"Uhh, thanks," I smiled up at him. I remember staring at him like 'damn, he's the perfect height'.

He simply shrugged and returned the smile, "No problem. I'm Tom," he took his hand off my shoulder and offered it to me

"Yulia," I kept smiling, taking his hand and shaking it. I remember thinking about how huge his hands were, then looking down and thinking about how huge his feet were. That's when I came to a conclusion of why he wore such baggy pants.

"You look like you're in need of a good time after what just happened," he winked.

"Oh, okay, I get it."

"Get what?"

"Use that trick on every girl you meet at a club?" I smirked at him, crossing my arms. I have to admit, it was a pretty good trick, but it's been done before. I knew that if I were to hang out with Tom again, I'd see my 'attacker' again. Of course I knew my 'attacker' was his best friend. I felt slightly stupid for not figuring it out early, but I was taken away that I was actually talking to dreaklock boy Tom.

A small smile spread across his face, "You've been around the block," he laughed.

"I work at a club, I've seen it all," I kept smirking at him, "So really, how many girls do you use that one on?"

"Only the pretty ones," he smiled, winking at me again.

"Pretty ones? I bet you just did it because you love my body."

"Your face ain't bad either," he said with a hick accent, making me almost drop my purse from bursting into a fit of laughter.

"Let's go," he pulled lightly at my arm.

"Where?" I stopped laughing and stopped letting him pull me. He winked at me, then pulled my arm slightly so I was beside him.

"No," I took a step away from me. His head shot back slightly, I guess I had taken him off guard. "I'm supposed to meet up with a friend." I lied.

"Then at least come back in the club and dance with me once?"

I shook my head no, but then shook it yes. One dance wouldn't do any harm, "Well I guess since you did save me," I let him lead me back into the club.

Well, one simple dance turned into multiple dances. We ended up dancing for hours. I still can't believe I ended up dancing with him for that long. I was so tired, but couldn't leave. I honestly can't say I've ever had that much fun with a guy before that night. He wasn't that great of a dancer, but he was one hell of a turn on. Suddenly, I felt my cell phone ring. I reached into my back pocket and grabbed my phone. It was a message from Katie asking where I was, "Shit! I should get home!"

"Why!?" He had to yell to be heard over the loud music.

"I was supposed to meet up with a friend!" I remembered my lie from early.

"Oh, right. Well, at least let me walk you to your car."

"In case my attacker comes back?" I joked as we walked out of the club.

"Ahh, I don't think the hobbit will be coming back anytime soon."

I was slightly confused as to why he reffered to his friend as 'the hobbit', but laughed it off. Once at my car, he leaned up against it and smiled, "So, can I have your number?"

I thought for a minute before nodding, pulling out a pen and a receipt from my purse to jot it down. I never used to give out my number to guys. I'd just either a)dance with them, or b)hook up with them, but never nothing more. Tom was different. He seemed like a genuine good guy, like he could be a good friend.

"Thanks," he grabbed the receipt and shoved it in his pocket, then opened his arms wide for a hug. I opened my arms in response and we wrapped our arms around each other. I felt safe in his arms. Safe in a way I couldn't explain. "Have a safe ride home," he whispered into my ear. It wasn't a seductive comment, but it still sent shiver up my spine. I got in my car smiling, and drove away with Tom waving.

"Why? Why? Why?" I asked myself over and over again, "Now he's going to callll you!" I whined to myself. I whined and yelled at myself the whole way home. But damn, am I ever glad I decided to give him my number. That number was the begining of the rest of my life.


----------------------


commeenntt :)
let me know if it's worth continuing, too.
]]> Buzznet xxtokiohotel 2008-07-25T11:59:00Z http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-thumb.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-synd.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-mob.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-gallery.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-large.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-feat.gif 13 0 http://xxtokiohotel.buzznet.com/user/journal/2729941/picture-perfect-new-story/ not the last chapter to Picture Perfect. ;p.
Picture Perfect ends at Sara's funeral. so realllyy soon.
so yeah, just wanted to clear that up.
and there will 100% be a sequel - i just haven't decided on a name yet ;p.


the new story.. i keep changing my mind for the name.
but whatever i like when i post the first chapter is what it will be :) even if it doesn't really suit the story ;p.

but anyways, i have all the characters i need at the moment, so please don't ask.
i did it on a first come, first serve basis. but i'll let you guys know if i need any other characters.
anndd chapter one will either be up tonight or tomorrow morning (hopefully tonight, if i don't forget when i get home)
it's not nearly as dramatic as Picture Perfect, but there is some drama.

i really want to end one of my stories with a not-so-happy ending.
so i'm debating whether it'll be the sequel to PP, or the new story, or even both. haa.

xx.Jenna :)
thanks to everyone who's been readin Picture Perfect :)

random, but new Tokio Hotel TV episode tonight :) ♥
don't forggeett.
]]> Buzznet xxtokiohotel 2008-07-23T13:16:00Z http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-thumb.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-synd.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-mob.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-gallery.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-large.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-feat.gif 5 0 http://xxtokiohotel.buzznet.com/user/journal/2725741/picture-perfect-chapter-30-what/ picture perfect is coming to an end, but there is a sequel (if you guys are interested in a sequel :)

AND, i came up with a new idea awhile back.. and wrote up to chapter 5 to see if i actually liked it enough to keep posting.
and i do :)
so i'm going to be starting a new fic soon. :)
but it's always more fun to write fics with characters based off of real people, so if you're interesting in being a character, message me or something! :)
**first come, first serve basis ;p.
and i need 4 main characters (aka Tokio Hotel's girls ;p).
i'll let you guys know later on if i need any other characters :)
i'll post chapter one for the new fic once i have the characters i need for it!! :)

*edit; i already have people for the four main characters.
please don't ask for a character anymore, i'll let you know if i need one.

-----------------------


"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you," I lightly tapped his chest at the last I hate you, reminding myself that his arms were badly cut up and that he had a heart attack. Bill didn't break eye contact with me, but I wish he did. He had a pained expression on his face as tears filled his eyes. I tried my best to keep a straight face, to let him know how angry I was at him, but I couldn't do it anymore once the first tear slipped down his cheek, "I love you," I whispered, resting my hand on his chest. He kept staring directly into my eyes, even more tears now pushing their way out. I could tell he was confused. He didn't know what to say or do, other then to stare into my eyes.
He blinked sharply and broke eye contact, looking down at his bandaged arms, "You have no idea what I saw," he whispered.
"David told me everything."
"Yeah, well, David wasn't fucking there for half of it!" He began to raise his voice, "You don't understand!"
"Bill, calm down and look at me."
He didn't look at me. Instead, he took a deep breath, then began to tell me everything, from when they arrived at the restaurant to when he sat himself down in the shower with a butcher knife..


**flashback from no one's point of view**


"I think this is the first time we've been out to dinner without a thousand fans crowding the entrance," Gustav pointed out.
Everyone nodded in agreement as they continued walking towards the restaurant. Georg saw an all too familiar figure and groaned, "If the word hasn't gotten out that we're having dinner here, then how does she know?" He pointed to the girl that was walking towards them, causing Bill to start whispering a chain of swearwords under his breath.
He held out his hand, telling everyone to stay where they are while he walked forwards until he was staring Sara dead in the eye, "What the fuck are you doing?"
"Bill, I love you, and I know you still love me," is all she said before she grabbed the sides of his head and pulled his lips towards hers.
Bill quickly pushed her off and took a few steps back, "What the fuck do you think you're doing!? I don't love you, Sara! It's over for good! Please, just leave me alone and let me live my life!"
"Don't say that."
"SARA! LEAVE!" He pointed back in the direction she came from, but she didn't budge. She stayed where she was, crying.
"You love me and you know it."
"I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE! I WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE!"
"NO YOU DON'T! STOP SAYING THAT! STOP PRETENDING TO LOVE THAT BITCH," she pointed at Paige, "AND START BEING TRUE TO YOUR FEELINGS!"
"I AM BEING TRUE TO MY FEELINGS!"
"NO YOU'RE NOT!"
"ICH HASSE DICH," he spoke in German, almost mocking Sara for the fact that she can't speak German. Sara stopped yelling, instead she lowered her head and crossed her arms underneath her coat. Bill was pleased that he had shut her up, now if only he could get her to leave, "In case you didn't understand, that means I hate you. Now, leave."
She took a step closer towards Bill, making sure she had a good grip on her knife before doing so, "Tell me you love me," she whispered.
"I hate you."
She looked up at him, and before anyone could realize what was going on, she quickly stepped behind Bill and held the knife up to his throat, "Tell me you love me," she spoke harshly. By then, the rest of the gang was surrounding them, begging Sara to put the knife down. She pressed the knife even harder against Bill's throat, but not hard enough to cut him.
"I can't lie," Bill wasn't afraid. If she wants to hurt him, she can go ahead and do so, she'll only be hurting herself even more.
"SAY IT!" She screamed.
"I hate you," Bill answered.
"Fuck, Bill," she quickly let go of Bill, turning and taking a step to plunge the knife in Georg's skin. She turned around, expecting Bill to have not moved, but he was now standing beside Paige. "How do you like that? Huh? Lying to everyone and yourself only causes bigger problems."
They stared at her in shock, not believing their eyes. Gustav was quick to catch Georg, who was in shock from being stabbed. He held onto him, repeating that it was going to be okay and that pain was only temporary. While holding on to him tightly, he pulled out his cell phone with one hand and secretly called for help, requesting more then one police along with an ambulance.
"You don't make any sense," Bill spoke slowly, brushing away the tears that were slipping down his cheeks, "How can you honestly say you love me, then turn around and stab one of my best friends? How can you honestly say you love me when you just threatened to kill me?"
"Because it's the truth, and I'm going crazy without you."
"You sure made that clear," he rolled his eyes, "And this is all your fault. You cheated on me. But now I'm glad you did, because you are one psycho bitch."
Sara became outraged with that comment, and began screaming at him while the tears continued to fall. Bill yelled right back at her, screaming like no one had ever seen him do before. His veins looked like they were going to pop out of his head and his face was beat red. It was a weird sight for everything, they've never seen him that mad, even when he fights with Tom. Right after Bill just wished that she was die and leave him alone, sirens could be heard.
"So you called the cops on me? Huh? Well," she turned around and stabbed Gustav in the arm, "How's that?," she smirked sarcastically at Bill, "Or this?" She took another step forward, plunging the knife into Gustav's side, "Or this," she stabbed him again, "Or even this," and again, "And how about the fucking throat?" She raised the knife up again, but by then, David had gotten over the shock factor and pulled her back. "GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!!" She screamed at David, swinging her arms in the air. David was quick to step back, afraid of getting hit by the swinging knife. "I'll fucking kill you," she eyed him down. David shifted nervously, then took a step to the side towards Gustav and Georg, "One more step, and I will kill you," she threatened, holding the bloody knife up. He stopped where he was, not daring to move. Behind her, he could see the ambulance and cops showing up. Sara turned her head when she saw him smiling, watching as multiple cops came running out of their cars with guns pointed at her. Before anyone could react, she had grabbed Paige's arm and was holding the bloody knife up to her neck, like she had done to Bill. Behind them, Gustav and Georg were being taken away in the ambulance. Due to only have one ambulance, Gustav was on the stretcher while Georg sat down. Georg wanted to be beside Gustav, and since he wasn't as badly hurt as him, he was able to get up and walk into the ambulance, with the help of a paramedic.
"PUT THE KNIFE DOWN OR WE'LL SHOOT!" A cop approached her, yelling.
"I'LL FUCKING KILL THIS BITCH UNLESS I GET SOME FUCKING PRIVACY WITH BILL!"
"PUT THE KNIFE DOWN!" He yelled again.
Bill took tiny steps, pacing nervously, "I'll do it."
"Do what?" Sara asked while keeping her position.
"I'll fucking talk to you alone."
"NO, SIR, WE CAN HANDLE THIS!" The cop yelled at him.
"No, you can't!" Bill raised his voice at the cop, "She's going to fucking kill my girlfriend if I don't!" He pointed towards Sara and Paige, then motioned to where Georg and Gustav were before they left in the ambulance.
"Let's go out back," Sara said calmly, backing up with Paige still in her arms. Bill nodded and begun walking around the building. The cops followed them, keeping their guns pointed at Sara. Once they were out back, Sara stood in front of Bill, still holding Paige's life in her hands. The cops surrounded them, but Sara refused to let go of Paige until they backed off, "I'll kill her," she threatened, pushing the knife harder against Paige's throat, making Paige release a wimpy of worry. The cops backed up, keeping their guns pointed. "You come near me while I'm talking to Bill, and I'll kill him," she said before she released Paige, pushing her towards a cop. Paige hit him hard, then practically ran out from to be with David, sobbing when she hugged him and tight as she could.
Sara made sure to hold the knife up in front of Bill to make sure the cops knew she wasn't kidding. Bill started the conversation with a simple 'why?'. Sara whispered so the police couldn't hear her. Not because it was something they couldn't know, but because she wants privacy with Bill. She understood that no matter what she did or said, the cops weren't going to fully leave them alone, so she settled for second best. She quickly became frustrated with Bill repeated 'I hate you', instead of 'I love you'. The closest thing she had gotten to 'I love you' was 'I loved you', and Bill made sure to add in that it was a mistake.
"If you don't love me, then there's no point in living," she finally accepted that things were never going to be the way they were, that she fucked up. She crossed her free arm under her coat, brushing her hand against the gun, "I know, deep down inside, you still love me. 'Till death do us part, right?"
"We were never married."
"We were meant to be," she whispered, grabbing the gun under her coat, but not pulling it out. "What would you do if I killed myself, right here, right now?" She raised an eyebrow, making one last attempt to get back together with Bill.
"Why?"
"I said it before, if you don't love me, there's no point in living."
"Really, Sara? You're going to kill yourself because of me?"
"Look around, Bill," she nodded her head in different directions, "We're fucking surrounded by cops. I can go to jail and cry myself to sleep every night, or end my misery here."
"You're fucking insane," he shook his head.
"Do you love me?"
"I love the old you," Bill finally admitted to himself and Sara. Yes, he hates Sara, the Sara now. But he can't deny that he still loves the old Sara, but not nearly as much as he used to. She's done a complete 360 in her personality since everything happened.
She nodded, "Die with me?"
"Are you out of your fucking mind, Sara!? No!" He didn't think she was serious about killing herself, or about that question.
"I'm not stupid, Bill. I can kill you right now, then kill myself. Or I can just kill myself right here, and let you do the rest."
"You would never kill me," he hoped what he said was true, "Do the rest?" He raised an eyebrow, then quickly lowered it, remembering that Sara loved it when he did that.
"Hey, I'm going to die tonight anyways, might as well take you with me. And c'mon Bill, you don't have to lie to me, or yourself. Did you see how much blood Gustav lost? I think I might have gotten him in the kidney," she looked at the bloody knife that was still pointed at Bill, "And me killing myself right in front of you? Now that I got you to admit that you love the old me? Don't kid yourself."
He shook his head, trying to ignore everything she just said. She was right. After seeing Georg and Gustav get stabbed, and the knife at Paige's throat, Bill was already debating suicide. Seeing Sara's limp body could be the last straw.
Sara pulled out the gun and cocked it, pointing it at Bill's forehead. The cops immediately stepped closer, "PUT IT DOWN! PUT IT DOWN!" Many of them yelled, aiming the gun at her.
"How do you want to do this?" She ignored the police, who continued to scream.
Bill was beginning to believe her, she was really going to kill herself. He shook his head, feeling a hot tear roll down his cheek, "I'm not dying tonight," he continued to shake his head.
She nodded, pulling the gun away from his head towards hers, "Well, Bill," tears began rolling down her cheeks as well.
"Don't do it," he let out an unintended sob, taking himself off guard. He was actually crying because Sara was about to kill herself.
"Tell me you love me," she replied simply.
"I can't lie," he answered the same way he had early.
"I'll see you in heaven."
"You're going to hell," Bill tried his best to bring back his anger towards her, but he couldn't. All he had managed was a harsh comment with a sweet voice.
"I love you," Sara wasn't stupid, she was waiting for the perfect moment to do it, and found it. She pulled the trigger, launching a bullet into her head. Her limp body began to fall, and Bill jumped forward, trying to catch it, but missed. He sat down beside her body, staring into her open eyes, sobbing. Sara truly picked the perfect moment to do it. She left Bill with last words that he would regret, and her last words that would burn at his heart forever. She wanted the moment she killed herself to tear away at him, until he finally killed himself as well. And she succeeded. Cops surrounded her body, checking to see if she was really dead, even though they knew she was. A cop crouched down beside Bill, rubbing his back as asking if there was anything he could do. Bill stood up and the cop did the same, offering escort him to the front of the restaurant. Bill didn't respond to him. Instead, he began running. Running away from Sara, running towards his car, running to end his life. Once he got home, he didn't waste anytime grabbing a knife and heading to the bathroom. He started the shower, thinking that it would make him bleed faster. He sat down in the corner, reaching over to where he quickly threw the knife, but instead grabbing a razor. He didn't reach for the knife again, he broke the razor and help up the blade. He looked at it in awe, amazed at how well Sara knew him. He lowered it towards his wrist and began to cut from side to side. It didn't hurt him nearly as much as watching Sara die before his eyes. He knew he had to be fast if he wanted to succeed in killing himself. He knew Tom was already on his way here. He threw the razor blade beside him and grabbed the knife, remembering something a doctor had told him years ago, 'A cut from side to side is a cut to release the pain. A cut from the wrist to the elbow is a cut to die'. He looked down at his wrist that was cut from side to side. He wasn't trying to release the pain, he was trying to kill himself. He dug the knife deep into his wrist, and dragged it up towards his elbow. He did it over and over again, then did the same on his other arm. He threw the knife beside him, pleased with the fact that he had cut his arms open, pleased that he couldn't recognize his tattoo. He rested his arms on his knees, making sure the water hit his forearms. He looked straight ahead, almost feeling his life slipping away form him, letting himself go into his own world, letting himself die.


**end of flashback**


"The last words I fucking said to her were 'You're going to hell'." He repeated after he finished telling me everything.

Well it's true, she is going to hell.

"You're not helping," he let out a sob.
"Sorry, I forgot," I lowered my voice.
"You do that a lot," he shook his head.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, running my hand threw his hair. It was silent while I played with his hair, something I did sometimes when I didn't know what else to do.
"I don't want to be here anymore," he said barely over a whisper, not daring to look at me.
"You can't honestly fucking say that, after everything you just did to me and everyone else. You selfish son of a bitch!"
"Tom."
"Killing yourself doesn't solve anything! I get it, Bill! You won't through a lot, but it's no fucking reason to kill yourself! Do you have any idea what you put everyone through, especially me!? Any fucking idea!? Imagine if I would have done that! Imagine if you would have found me in my own state of mind in the shower with cuts covering my fucking arms and blood surrounding me!?"
"Tom."
"Imagine being fucking covered in my blood as you ran to find a phone, as you tried of think of what you could do to help stop the bleeding!? You think it was easy for me!? Not to mention you passed out and had a fucking heart attack!"
"Tom."
"You selfish asshole! Fuck, Bill! Why do you put me through all of this!? Remember 'If you die, I die'? It's fucking true! Imagine thinking of different ways to kill yourself, not because you want to die, but because you know that you can't live without your brother. You're a fuc-"
"TOM."
"WHAT!?" I was getting fed up that he kept trying to interrupt me.
"I meant that I don't want to be in the hospital anymore.." He half smirked.
"Well," I instantly felt bad for my little speech, but a part of me was glad I had let it out, "You could have looked at me."
"Sorry," he mumbled, laughing slightly. I laughed a little too, but it was more forced then anything.
"I'm sorry, too," I felt the need to add in, even though I wasn't.
"No you're not, and you shouldn't be. Everything you just said is true. I'm sorry, Tom," he apologized again, but this time for attempting suicide, "It was just, too much to handle at once. Everything came back to me when she shot herself. When we first met, how she broke up with her boyfriend that very day for me, the first time we kissed, just.. every good time we had. Nothing about Scott, or her cheating came to mind. It was almost like we were still dating." He broke down into tears, breaking my heart.
"Bill.." I tried my best to hug him, crying with him, but there were still no tears.
"I love Paige, I really do," he sobbed onto my shoulder, "I just.."
"Bill, it's okay," I pulled away slightly, placing my hands on his shoulders, "I know you love Paige, you don't have to say it." He nodded, and I brought my hand up to wipe away his tears.
"Thank you," he barely whispered. Actually, he more mouthed it, but I heard it loud and clear. "When is.." he drifted off, but I knew what he was talking about; he wanted to know when Sara's funeral is.
"I don't know," it hadn't even come across me that there was going to be a funeral. Heck, it still hasn't fully hit me that Sara's dead. I know she is, but I'm so used to Sara never being around anymore, that nothing has changed. I know it's going to hit me at the funeral, that's when all death's hit me. "Are you sure you want to go?" I asked slowly, slightly unsure of my question.
"I can't not go. She was a huge part of my life. She's the reason everything is the way it is right now. She was around for so much of my life, and think about it, without her, we would have never met Paige or Aidah."
"Yes we would have!"
"Tom, if we hadn't broken up, you and I would have never gone to Hawaii, where I met Paige. Not to mention Erika wouldn't have been balling her eyes out because I got a new girlfriend. We would have never met her or given her two backstage passes to the festival, aka how you met Aidah."
Never thought of it that way, "Oh," was all I could answer. She really is the root of everything.
"I really want to be there," he mumbled, looking down at his bandaged arms.
"Me too," I smiled lightly at him. Sara was my best friend, and without her I would have never met Aidah. I think I owe her to go to her funeral.

What am I talking about? I don't owe her anything.

Ahh, that's right. She fucking went psycho and could have killed Gustav, Georg, and second handedly almost killed Bill. But if Bill's going, I'm going.


-----------------------


eh, i couldn't think of a better way to end it :/
but comment :)
]]> Buzznet xxtokiohotel 2008-07-22T17:22:00Z http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-thumb.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-synd.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-mob.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-gallery.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-large.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-feat.gif 13 0 http://xxtokiohotel.buzznet.com/user/profile.photos/?entry_id=5690281
]]> mark o'connell taking back sunday Buzznet,mark o'connell,taking back sunday xxtokiohotel 2008-07-22T17:21:02Z http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/xxtokiohotel/default/thumb-prf-1216772461.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/xxtokiohotel/default/synd-prf-1216772461.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/xxtokiohotel/default/mob-prf-1216772461.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/xxtokiohotel/default/gallery-prf-1216772461.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/xxtokiohotel/default/large-prf-1216772461.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/xxtokiohotel/default/feat-prf-1216772461.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/xxtokiohotel/default/prf-1216772461.jpg 0 0 http://xxtokiohotel.buzznet.com/user/photos/?id=40602101
mirrors are addicting ;p]]> Buzznet xxtokiohotel 2008-07-22T17:18:41Z http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/xxtokiohotel/default/thumb-msg-121677232167.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/xxtokiohotel/default/synd-msg-121677232167.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/xxtokiohotel/default/mob-msg-121677232167.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/xxtokiohotel/default/gallery-msg-121677232167.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/xxtokiohotel/default/large-msg-121677232167.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/xxtokiohotel/default/feat-msg-121677232167.jpg http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/xxtokiohotel/default/msg-121677232167.jpg 0 0 http://xxtokiohotel.buzznet.com/user/journal/2693711/picture-perfect-chapter-29-i/ i can't wait until next weeks episode, i was pissing myself laughing during the preview.
oh, Bill :)
booty popping ;p.
gotta love him.



ANYWAYS.
FINALLY.
chapter 29.
didn't edit! ignore the mistakes!
again, SO sorry!



-----------------------



"Hey man" I stepped into Georg's hospital room, David following my footsteps. 
"Tom! David!" He raised his hand in the air and I did the same, walking over to smack it.
"How you feeling?" I pulled up a chair beside him and David stood beside me. 
"I've been better." He nodded down at his stomach, "And you guys?"
"Been better. Didn't get any sleep last night" David answered for the both of us, patting me on the back. David had stayed with me all night, crying in the waiting room of the hospital. The doctor never came back with any news, but a nurse asked that we leave and come back during visiting hours, obviously trying to get rid of us as we were not aloud to see Bill. We went from one hospital to the next, planning to check up on Georg and Gustav. 
"Because of what Sara did?" Georg asked. I felt an urge of anger rise threw me; what Sara did was the base of everything, and I hoped that that's was Georg meant, that he already knew about Bill. But from David's reaction, I could tell that Georg only knew what he saw.
David sighed, shaking his head, "What do you remember about last night?"
"Everything"
"Tell me what happened"
"You know what happened.." I could tell Georg was clueless, and that David was trying to see how much he saw. "Sara showed up," Georg started, a hint of confusion in his voice, "She was in tears and Bill kept telling her to leave. They started yelling and screaming, then she went psycho. She held up a knife at Bills throat and started screaming at him to tell her that he loves her. When he didn't, she turned around and stabbed me. After awhile of screaming and threatening, she stabbed Gustav - more then once. Then the paramedics and cops arrived and I was whisked into an ambulance" Georg swallowed hard, "What, what else happened?" I instantly felt bad for him. His eyes were puffy, so it was obvious that he was crying, but I don't know if he was crying because of the pain from being stabbed, or the situation itself. I felt bad because for what ever reason he was crying, he had probably let it all out already, but now we're about to tell him something that's going to push more tears out.
David looked over at me, almost as if he was asking me to tell him. I shook my head and looked down. "Sara's dead," He said bluntly. I lifted my head to look up at him, looking at him like that was an unneeded comment. He had done the same to me, just spat it out, and that's when I figured out that sometimes just spitting things out isn't the best way to break the news.
Georg looked down at his hands, "Oh," He paused. I looked up at his face and assumed he had the same reaction as I did when I first found out, or close. On second thought, he was probably slightly relieved, seeing as she did try to kill him, or at least hurt him. "How?"
"Suicide," David scratched his nose, probably trying to distract himself from crying.
"But she.. The cops were.. How?"
David sighed heavily, looking from me to Georg. He lowered his head towards his hands, which he had clasped together. "This might explain things a bit better, Tom," His voice was low, "Once she saw the cops, she went behind Paige and held the knife up to her throat, screaming that she would kill her unless she had some privacy with Bill. He was hesitant to be around that psycho alone, but agreed, for Paige's sake. They went around back of the restaurant, with cops standing just around the corner watching and pointing their guns. I stayed with Paige out front, so I don't know what exactly happened. But even from the front of the restaurant, I could hear them yelling. Then other voices entered the equation, screaming at Sara to put it down and threatening her. Then there was a gunshot." He ran his fingers threw his hair, "Sara had a gun with her and shot herself in the head, in front of Bill."
Those last four words burned their way into my brain, making note to engrave themselves so I'd never forget them, "What?" I let out without even realizing it. I knew she killed herself, but I didn't know she did it right in front of Bill. What kills me the most is the fact that Bill more then likely had to watch her body fall to the ground, or even worse, catch her body.
Georg shook his head, "How's Bill?"
"Not good," David placed his hand on my back again.
"Why aren't you with him?"
"They wouldn't let me see him," Georg probably thought David meant that he's depressed, not in the hospital.
"What do you mean?"
"He.. He tried to kill himself, and almost succeeded," David said for me, knowing I wouldn't be able too. I could have broken down in tears right there, right then, but I have no more tears left. I never thought it was possible to cry out all of your tears, but I had done it last night. I had stayed up all night, sobbing on my mum's shoulder, with David and Aidah at my side. I had cried until I had no more tears, until they turned into sobs without water. Honestly, I have been crying pretty much this whole conversation. Georg definitely didn't notice, considering he's never seen me cry when I had no tears left, but David knew.
"What..happened..?" Georg asked slowly. I could tell that he wasn't sure whether or not he should have asked that, and slightly regretted it once it was out.
"He slit his wrists," David answered, but it was wrong. Bill didn't just slit his fucking wrist, Bill had slit his whole fucking forearms. And David doesn't even know what happened after that, I never told them. All he knew was that Bill had cut himself and was in bad shape. Well David, what goes around comes around. He didn't tell me about Sara killing herself in front of Bill, which felt like a stab in the heart, so now I'm going to take a stab back.

Nice one, Tom. Take a stab back? Good choice of words - or should I say thoughts - in this situation.

"Not just his wrists," I broke into the conversation, "From his wrists to his fucking elbows. On both his arms in more then one direction. He hit a fucking artery and lost so much blood that he passed out and had a fucking heart attack because of low blood pressure." I watched Georg and Davids expressions change at exactly the same side, going bug eyed and their jaws dropping. "His whole fucking forearm," I made sure to make it clear, "If I didn't know he had that tattoo on his arm, I would have never known it was there. I could only see bits and pieces of it, and it could have easily been mistaken as dirt." I spat out, almost as if I was shoving it in their faces. I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I tried to shock them, but I did it and succeeded at it. They gaped at me, both of their lips quivering slightly and their eyes welling up.
"Why didn't you tell me this before?" David asked, a tear rolling it's way down his cheek. I watched as it collected itself at the bottom of his cheek, then fell to the floor, making a tiny, shiny, splat.
"I couldn't," I shook my head, "I was in too much shock." God damn, if I had tears, they'd be pouring out by now.


------------ ------------


After spending about an hour in Georg's room, we went out to find a doctor and got the good news we were hoping for. We already knew Georg was going to be okay, but it was Gustav we were worried about. The doctor had told us that Gustav was stabbed in the arm, stomach, side, and lung. Luckily, nothing too big. He suffers a punctured lung and lucked out that he wasn't stabbed in the kidney. He then apologized to David for not giving him any information last night. The doctor explained that when David had asked how Gustav was doing, he had only just seen Gustav and thought that he had been stabbed in the kidney. The doctor kept talking, going on about how there were two doctors in the room with Gustav and no nurse, and he had stepped outside the room for a second to flag down a nurse that was passing by, and blah blah blah blah blah. I didn't pay any attention after then. By the time I zoned back into the conversation, they were having a conversation about was could  have happened if Gustav was actually stabbed in the kidney. I was quick to interrupt their conversation, impatient to get back to the hospital Bill was at. Now, David and I were in the elevator. I paced back and forth in the tiny box, waiting for it to finally reach the first floor, and when I did, I wished that I was invisible.
"Was going to happen sooner or later," David pushed me out of the elevator, "Just walk out like you have no idea what they're talking about. No eye contact, just ignore them."
I sighed, nodding. Yes it's great the have fans, but I don't want anything to do with them right now. And the media can just go fuck themselves. I groaned even louder as we approached the door, realizing that it was only David and I, no security guard. I stepped out first, David staying close behind with his hands on my shoulders.
"Is it true that Georg is in critical condition?"
"Is it true that Gustav died at the scene?"
"Is it true that Bill killed Sara?"
"Is it true that Paige was shot three times?"
"Is it true that Bill is dead?"
I couldn't help but chuckle at some of the insane comments being thrown at me, but that last comment hit me hard. Almost every comment I had heard was just another rumor, but what if that one wasn't? I didn't realize it, but I stopped walking, and next thing I knew, I was being pushed towards the parking lot.
"Keep a move on!" David hissed at me.
The crowd kept following us as we walked threw the parking lot towards my car. I pulled out my keys and threw them at David. He caught them out of pure luck, and stared down at them like he was holding a baby alien.
"Drive." I simply said as I walked towards the passenger side of the door.
The doors unlocked and I got in, soon followed by David, "Why?" He asked as he started my car.
"I just can't drive right now," I rested my head on my head, staring out the window. Not one word was spoken after that for the rest of the ride. Once we arrived at the hospital, I was thankful to see no crowd. I guess they figured if the rumors were actually true, they'd all be at the same hospital. Well, that's what I would have figured too if I had just heard about everything. But everything with Sara happend in one town, and Bill happened in another. Once getting the okay to visit Bill in his room, I pushed David away from me, trying to tell him not to come. I walked into Bills room and sat down beside his bed, staring at his pale, almost lifeless body.
"Bill?" I grabbed his hand. I stared at him for what seemed like forever, but was in fact only a minute. Why isn't he answer me? Why isn't he fucking talking to me? Another chair pulled up next to mine and I looked over, expecting David, but finding Dr.Holtzmann.
"Don't worry, he's just sleeping," He assured me. A sigh of relief flew threw my body. "He should be okay, but it was a close one."
The tickle at the back of my throat was unbearable. I didn't know if it was for tears of joy, anger, or sadness. Either way, no tears came out, as per usual. "Thank you," I practically whispered.
He nodded, smiling at me, "Just doing my job," He winked.
I shifted uncomfotably, I hate it when guys wink at me. I feel like I'm being hit on, but I knew he didn't mean it like that. "Ha, ha" I fake laughed.
Dr.Holtzmann obviously caught on to my fake laugh, because he shifted slightly too, "His heart attack wasn't big enough to kill him, or big enough for him to need surgery, but it did cause a bit of damage. It-"
"I'm not the person to be explaining this to," I cut him off, "I won't understand a word in your doctor talk, and I'll forget in a split second."
He gave me a look I have never recieved before, like he had no idea how to react. Probably wondering if he should laugh, "Well then," he nodded slowly, "I guess I'll explain it to your mother."
"Mum? She's here?"
"No, not right now. She was earlier."
"Oh," I nodded.
There was an awkward silence between us, and after while, Dr.Holtzmann clasped his hands together and stood up, "Well, thank god for blood donors," he half smirked, half gave me a pity smile.
"Yeah," I tried my best to smile at him, but my eyes probably gave it away that I want him gone. He left the room and I turned my attention back to Bill. I decided that I'm going to be beside Bill when he wakes up, even if he's only sleeping. I laid my head down on his chest, my heart rising and lowering from his breathing while I listened to his steady heart beat. About an hour passed before his breathing change, and it slightly panicked me. I lifted my head slightly so my chin was resting on his chest, looking up at his face to see my eyes staring back at me.
"Tom?"
"Bill," I said as calmly as I could, smiling at him. I brought my arms around him and tried to hug him, but it was hard considering he was lying down. I kept smiling and smiling, until I remember that it was Bill's own fault he was here, it was Bill that had tried to kill himself. I shot up and off of him, my smiling dropping faster then my pants if I don't have a belt, or hold them up. "I hate you."

Of course I didn't mean it.



-----------------------



ahaha, this chapter's pretty bad.
and i didn't really know how to end it.
but please comment :)
]]> Buzznet xxtokiohotel 2008-07-16T20:42:00Z http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-thumb.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-synd.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-mob.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-gallery.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-large.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-feat.gif 11 0 http://xxtokiohotel.buzznet.com/user/journal/2680491/picture-perfect-readers/ but my computer BROKE!
well, not really.
but the internet is really messed up - i can't type anything.
it lets me type one letter, then freezes for half an hour, then i can type another letter, but it'll freeze again! :|
so i gave up on that.
right now, i'm on my moms work laptop - but i obviously can't use it as much as i'd like :/
i've been typing the story on my iPod (and sending it to myself threw hotmail)
but i can't copy and paste on my iPod to post it :/
i'm not posting chapter 29 today, i just wanted to let you guys know what's up.
but i will be posting chapter 29 either tomorrow or wednesday in the evening (Canadian time ;p (Toronto))

anyways, thank you for all of the comments, and sorry again.
:)]]> キャンパス Buzznet,キャンパス xxtokiohotel 2008-07-14T17:10:00Z http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-thumb.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-synd.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-mob.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-gallery.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-large.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-feat.gif 3 0 http://xxtokiohotel.buzznet.com/user/journal/2641421/picture-perfect-chapter-28-one/ i tried posting this last night, but it wouldn't let me :S


----------------------


"God dammit Bill!" I yelled to no one, "Answer your fucking phone!" I yelled again. Since the moment I had left Aidah's house, I had been trying to call Bill. It's not like him to ignore my calls, especially if I call him over and over again. I went into my call history, remembering that someone had called me earlier.

One missed call; Mum.

Out of all the people. Then again, I got this feeling after he called, so it could just be a coincidence. Either way, I decided to call him back.

"Hello?" Her voice was weak and shaky.
"Mum?" I swallowed hard, trying to block out the tickle in my throat.
"Oh, Tom!" I could have sworn I heard a tiny sob, "Are you with Bill?"
"No, not yet" My heart raced, "What's going on?"
"Not yet?" She ignored my question.
"I'm driving"
"Are, are you scared?"
I couldn't help it, tears began to effortlessly fall, "Terrified"
I wiped the tears off of my face and sped up, not paying any attention to anything around, I just need to get to Bill. "What's going on?" I asked again.
"I don't know," She half sighed, half sobbed, "David called me looking for Bill. He was really distraught" She paused and I could hear her trying to control her breath, "Tom, whatever the outcome, promise me you won't hurt youself"
"Mum," I cried, I can't promise her that. If Bill dies, I die.
"Tom, promise me"
"Mum, I, I, can't"
"PROMISE ME, TOM!" She screamed.
"I have to go" I whispered, hanging up as I finally reached where the feeling in my stomach took me, our house. I ran in full speed, throwing my keys and cell phone on the counter.

"BILL!" I yelled, running through the house. "BILL!" Fresh tears fell down my cheek. I ran towards Bill's room, but stopped just outside of it when I heard water running in the bathroom. "Bill?" I opened the door, scared of what I might find. I walked in to see the shower door closed, but no shadow of Bill, or the sound of him whistling. "Bill?" I opened the shower door and my already crumbled heart shattered. There he was, sitting fully clothed in the corner of the shower, soaking wet. Makeup was running down his face from a mixture of tears and the shower water. His legs were bent and his arms were resting on them, forearms facing up. My shattered heart sunk even deeper when I looked at his arms and saw that my biggest fear had come true. There were too many cuts to count, deep, long cuts, running in all directions. His 'Freiheit 89' tattoo barely reconizable as water poured down on his open cuts, turning all of the water around him red. Beside him was a broken razor, and a bloody butcher knife. I burst into tears and collapsed onto the floor, slowly dragging myself into the shower beside him, not caring that his blood was now all over my white shirt. I moved closer and wrapped my arms around him, "Why?" I sobbed, pulling him closer to him. "Bill, look at me" I looked up at his blank expression, but he didn't move. He's in his own world, staring blankly ahead at nothing. "Bill!" I sat up straight, placing my hands on his shoulders, "Look at me!" I sobbed, shaking his shoulder. He didn't budge. "BILL! LOOK AT ME!" I cried, shaking his shoulders even harder. "You're so stupid, Bill." I sobbed after he didn't even flinch, collapsing onto him, "So stupid" I whispered into his shoulder. As soon as I said that, I realized that I still haven't called for help. "Fuck" I jumped off of him and out of the shower, bloody water dripping off of me as I ran threw the house to find a phone. After finding a phone and sobbing my story to the lady on the other line, I quickly ran back into the bathroom. He hadn't moved one inch. I looked around the bathroom and grabbed a towel, kneeling in the shower and wrapping it around his left arm and choking on a sob as I did it. I turned my head, looking to see if there was another towel, but there wasn't. "Fuck" I whispered under my breath. Without even thinking, I ripped off my already bloody t-shirt and wrapped it around him right arm. By then, I could already see the blood beginning to seep threw the towel on his other arm. I shifted so I was kneeling in front of him, crossing my arms and pressing them against his arms, then rested my head against my crossed arms, "Why would you do this to me?"

------------At the hospital------------

I quickly ran along with the paramedics, who pushed Bill on a stretcher, but was stopped after entering a certain hallway.
"Sir, we're going to have to ask you to take a seat" The nurse pointed towards a waiting room.
"No" I shook my head, trying to push her aside.
"Sir, please" She pushed me back.
"That's my fucking baby brother! Don't tell me to take a seat!" I began to run past her.
"Sir," She grabbed my arm, "I understand but,"
"But what!?" I snapped, turning around.
"But you would be a distraction. There's a better chance if you're not in the room"
My heart dropped, what is she talking about? Better chance of what?? Bill's not dying, he's just in his own state of mind, with a few minor cuts, "What do you mean?"
"Take a seat, please" She motioned towards the room. Reluctantly, I made my way into the room and sat down on one of the chairs, leaning forwards and resting my elbows on my knees. I looked around the room and saw multiple people in the same position as me, most of them shaking their leg. I shook my head, burying my face in my heads. I don't know what to think anymore. Was Bill trying to kill himself, or trying to release the pain? I knew the answer, but I didn't want to admit it.

"Tom" I felt a hand rest on my back and turned around to see David and Aidah. They walked over and took a seat on either side of me. I looked from David to Aidah, confused out of my mind.
"I went to your house" Aidah spoke up, "About half an hour after you left. When I went in to find no one there, and blood all over the bathroom floor, I called David"
I looked over at David, who shook his head slowly, "I knew this would happen. I could have stopped it, I could have. But I just," He drifted off, tears begging to be released onto his already tear-strained cheeks.
"What's going on?" I spoke threw tears.
He breathed deeply and I heard a chair shift, "I'll leave" Aidah stood up.
"Don't-" I shook my head.
"Tom" David stopped me. He nodded at Aidah and she nodded back, turning on her heels and walking away.
"Why..?"
"She already knows. I just want to tell you privately" He exhaled slowly, trying to control his breathing. He took a deep breath and turned to me, "Tom," He paused, breathing deeply again, "Sara's dead"
No matter how much you hate someone, it's always a shock when they die. I felt more tears fall down my cheeks. Why am I crying for her? "How?" I spoke slowly.
"Suicide"

Suicide?

He brought his hands up to his temples, massaging them in a circular motion, "But before she killed herself, she..she" He stopped, lowering one of his hands to wipe away fresh tears, "She tried to kill Georg and Gustav"
My heart dropped and I burst into tears. This isn't right. What the fuck was wrong with Sara!?

I hate you, Sara!

Did you hear that? Huh? Can you hear me, Sara? I fucking hate you! You're the most disgusting human being I've ever met! How could you do something like that? How you you possible say that you love Bill then turn around and try to kill two of his best friends!? Fuck you! Burn in hell! "Are.. Are they o, okay?" I sobbed, praying they were.
He let the tears flow, looking away from me, "I don't know?"
"You don't know? You don't know, David? What the fuck is that supposed to mean!? Yes or no; are they okay!?" I stood up, frustrated with him. I need to know. Why is he stalling? Fucking give me a straightforward answer!
"Sit down" He whispered, and I obeyed. "Georg was stabbed once and Gustav four times. The doctors are sure that Georg will be fine, but Gustav.." He drifted off.
"Gustav what?" I choked on a sob.
"They told me they would try their best" He let out multiple sobs, "That's all they would tell me" He pressed his fist against his forehead. I wrapped my arms around his and cried onto his shoulder, "Why is this happening!?"

Fuck. You. Sara. I hope you died of a slow and painful death.

------------3 hours later------------

"Mr.Kaulitz?"
"Yes?" I shot up, standing up beside the man that had called my name.
"I'm Dr.Holtzmann" He stuck out his hand. I stared at it for a second, hesitating before grabbing it, "Tom Kaulitz"
"I know. Take a seat" He motioned for me to sit down on the other side of the room, away from Aidah and David. I looked over at them and David nodded. I obeyed Dr.Holtzmann and sat down, growing impatient, "Is he going to be okay?"
He sat down beside me and sighed, "We can only hope"

Hope? What is hope when there's destiny?

I felt my lip quiver and fresh tears beginning to push their way out, "How bad is it?"
He turned a bit to face me, "Mr.Kaulitz, Bill cut himself in two different directions, from one side of his wrist to the other," He rubbed his right index finger along his leg wrist, "And from his wrist to his elbow" He ran his finger from his wrist to his elbow, "Everyone cuts for different reasons, but from the cuts of Bill's wrist, it was an obvious attempt at suicide. Cutting from one side of the wrist to the other is one thing, but cutting from the wrist to the elbow is another. If the cut is deep enough and hits an artery, the likely result is death." He paused, looking down at his knees, "Unfortunately, he hit an artery"
I covered my mouth with my hand, turning my head from the doctor and letting out multiple sobs.
"He lost so much blood that he passed out and had a heart attack due to low blood pressure"

A heart attack? Bill had a fucking heart attack!?

I turned my head to look at the doctor again and burst into tears all over again. The doctor placed his hand on my back and moved it in a circular motion, "You should know that you're the reason he's still alive"
"Barely!" I shot up, "He fucking lost so much blood that he passed out and had a heart attack for crying out loud!! What do you mean I'm the reason he's still alive!?"
"The paramedics reported that when they arrived, you had wrapped a towel around his arms and were applying pressure. You helped slow down the blood loss. Not to mention that when he was brought in, his cuts were still fresh. You must have found his right after he did it, and you reacted quickly. If you wouldn't have done what you did, there's no doubt that Bill would have died before the paramedics even got there"
I nodded, thank God for being a twin. But nothing he says now can stop the tears that kept on flowing down my face. The doctor excused himself, leaving me sitting there by myself. David and Aidah had walked over and sat down beside me. They repeatedly asked me what the doctor had said, but I was in too much shock to answer them. Sob after sob escaped my mouth. Tear after tear poured down my face. Thought after thought raced threw my head. But only one realization hit me, and it hit me hard.

Bill might die.


----------------------


*writers note: just like to say, in case anyone is going to say that it's not possible, that it is possible to lose so much blood that you pass out and have a heart attack due to low blood pressure (you can also have brain damage for the same reason)
i know this for a fact because i know someone that had that happen (everything that happened to Bill is based off of that person - like the cuts in more then one direction, hitting an artery, finding him in the shower and stuff)


anyways,
comment :)
]]> Buzznet xxtokiohotel 2008-07-07T12:09:00Z http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-thumb.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-synd.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-mob.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-gallery.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-large.gif http://www.buzznet.com/assets/icons/journal-feat.gif 15 0 http://xxtokiohotel.buzznet.com/user/journal/2625711/picture-perfect-chapter-27-make/ didn't edit, ignore te mistakes :)
chapter 28 is reallyyy short.
so i'm going to post it soon, like tomorrow ;p


-----------------------


I had sat in my car on Yulia's driveway for the longest time, trying to understand what happened. Once I realized that I was going to be late, I drove to Aidah's as fast as I could, and now I'm sitting in my car, parked on her driveway. I looked in the mirror and wiped my lips, remembering what Bill said about lip gloss. Yes, Yulia's smoking hot, but she's nothing like Aidah. Although, I barely know Yulia. Then again, I barely know Aidah and I'm already falling in love with her. I pushed everything thought of Yulia out of my mind, bringing in thoughts of Aidah to remind me why I just spent over two thousand dollars on her. I blew out a breath that I had been holding and got out of the car, heading over to the front door. I didn't even have to knock, the door flew open and Aidah came flying out.

"TOM!" She jumped into my arms.
"Aidah!!" I wrapped my arms around her waist as she wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist.
"Come on" I gently put her down and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the car.
"Where? I thought we were hanging out here"
"We are. Wait here" I let go of her hand and walked over to the drivers side of the car, so she couldn't see what I was doing. I grabbed the dog, who was now sleeping, and hid it under my sweater. It shifted slightly then cozied up to my chest.
"What is it?" She asked as I walked towards her. I nodded downwards and she tilted her head to the side, then slowly reached out her hand to push the sweater to the side. Once the dog's nose was peaking out, she shrieked and ripped open my sweater.
"AWW TOM!!" She jumped up and down, "You're too sweet!" She grabbed the sides of my head and pulled me into a kiss.

I hope I wiped it all off. I hope she didn't taste Yulia's lip gloss.

Thankfully, she didn't, or was too happy to notice.
"Can I hold it!?"
"Of course you can, she's yours now" I handed the dog over to her, creating an even bigger smile on her face. Aidah shifted once she was holding her, causing the dog to open it's eyes for a couple of seconds before closing them again.
"SHE HAS BLUE EYES!!" She smiled.
"And a blue dog dish, a blue leash, a blue collar, and a couple of blue toys to match her eyes"
"Tom! Why would you buy all of that!?"
I smiled faintly, looking down at my fidgety hands. Before you get the wrong idea, Bill got that nervous habit from me. It was mine first! Don't believe anything he says! Little brothers always copy the older ones.
I slowly looked back up at Aidah, "Because I think I'm falling in love with you"

Not feeling any bit of guilt, Tom?

She smiled, leaning in, "Me too" She whispered before leaning in to kiss me. "Let's go inside"
"Mhmm" I nodded, pulling out the keys to my car, "But we should get all of this in first"
She nodded, running inside for a second and returning puppy-less.
"You didn't like the gift?" I smirked.
She laughed, lightly punching my arm. Girl punch! We walked over to the car and I grabbed the food while she grabbed the bag of supplies. After we dropped that off in her house, we went back and grabbed the crate, resting it against my car for a second while I closed my trunk. Once we got it inside, we decided to put it together.
"This should be easy" I looked at the crate, which just looked collapsed. I pulled it up at stared at it blankly, uhhh, where's the doggy door?
"Easy?" She laughed, walking over and pushing me aside. She set it up in less then a minute. Psshh, I could have done it in 30 seconds if she wouldn't have pushed me aside! Easyyy.
"Uh oh Tom, a girl set it up!?"
"Pshh! I could have so set it up!"
"Nuhh uhh!"
"Yahh huhh"
"Oh yeah?" She crossed her around, patting her foot on the ground.
"In a split second" I smiled.
"Really?" She held the same position.
"Okay, maybe not" Pretend you didn't hear that, I was just - you know - de-manning myself for a second.
"You loser" She walked over, wrapping her arms around my neck.
"Make me feel like less of a loser and be my girlfriend?" I wrapped my arms around her waist.
She nodded, smiling ear to ear, "I'd love to be your girlfriend" She quickly kissed me, "You're still a loser, though"
I laughed, thinking up of a million comebacks, "You're still the most beautiful girl I've ever seen" Comeback, compliment - close enough, right?
"You're cute"
"You're cuter"
"Not possible!
"Way possible" I kissed her before she would say anything else, "Don't deny"
She was about to say something, but jumped instead. We looked down to see the dog sniffing her legs.
"Aww! Little dog is awake!"
"C'mere buddy" I bent down, holding out my hand.
Aidah giggled and bent down as well, "She needs a name, instead of 'Little dog' and 'Buddy'"
"Yeah, but none of those bullshit-obvious names, like 'Blue'" I rolled my eyes, thinking of a friend who named their dog Blue because it had blue eyes.
"Bullshit-obvious name?" She laughed, taking a seat on the floor, "Okay, so, what's a none bullshit-obvious name?"
"I don't know" I shrugged, shifting beside her and taking a seat, "Jasper, or something like that"
"Jasper?" She raised her eyebrows, "That's kind of a boy name"
"I know, but something like that. You know, like Jasper, Alberta. Blue water, blue skies, and white snow"
"You're a clever one, Tom"
"No need to tell me that, I already knew" I smirked, wrapping my right arm around her shoulder.
"Oh, of course," She rolled her eyes then laughed, "Can you think of a name like that for a girl?"
"Uh, well, maybe," I tried to think, but couldn't come up with any, "Jasperia..?"
She looked at me for a second, wide eyed, before bursting into a fit of laughter, "Clever!" She said sarcastically. I laughed along with her. Eventually, Aidah's cute laugh faded, but he stunning smile remained, "What's a name you like?"
I looked down at the dog as it chased it's tail and spoke the first name that came to my mind, "Sasha"
She nodded, looking at the dog as well, "I like that" She nodded again, smiling up at me, "I really like that"
"So Sasha it is?"
"Sasha it is" She confirmed, picking up the tiny dog, "Hallo Sasha"


------------Couple hours later------------

I was lying on top of Aidah and she giggled, pushing me off, "Get off!" She quickly flipped me over so that she was straddling me.

We had been play fighting with Sasha, and learned that she loves long stringy things, like hair - and especially my dread locks. I would bend over and shake my head, and she would jump up and try to bit them. A couple of times, she got them and just hung there, since she was so light. Eventually, she got tired and plumped herself down on the ground, falling asleep in a split second. Of course Aidah and I were still wide awake, so I tackled her onto the ground and it went from there. One minute I was on top of her, the next she was on top of me. It was a never ending game of rolling around on the floor together, we didn't even stop when my phone rang.

"Ignore that" I whispered, Aidah still straddling me.
"I was planning to"
"Good" I flipped her over, holding her by the shoulders so it made it harder for her to move.
"Nice one, but I can do better" She quickly raised her hands up, pushing mine off of her shoulders and rolled us over so she was on top again, straddling me and holding my hands down by my side.
"Smooth" I smiled, bringing my hands up so we were holding hands in the air, "But not smooth enough" Again, I flipped us over. Now I was the one straddling her, pinning her hands above her head, "Uh oh" I whispered, leaning down so our upper bodies were just barely touching and our noses were almost touching, "What are you going to do now?"
"Let you kiss me" She whispered, tilting her head sideways, daring me to do it. I leaned down, pressing our lips together. It wasn't a hot and passionate kiss, but a slow and gentle one. I pulled away after a bit and smiled faintly, "What else are you going to do?"
"Let you do whatever you want to do"
"I love you" I whispered, brushing my lips against hers.
"I love you too" She whispered back. I let go of her hands and brought them down to her hips, and in a split second, stood up and pulled her up with me. She let out a little screamed, surprised, but then gladly wrapped her legs around my waist. I made our way to her bedroom, knocking a few things over on the way. I pinned her against a wall, kissing her with every ounce of passion I have in my body. She returned the kiss with just as much passion as I brought my hands down the the seam of her shirt. Keeping my hands there, I backed up a bit, letting her legs fall to the ground. I pulled her shirt up, interrupting our kiss for a second as I passed it above her head. She lightly pushed me until I fell back on the bed. She was about to climb on top of me when I got one of the worst feelings in the pit of my stomach. I shot up, tears threatening to pour out.
"What's wrong?"
I looked around the room, panicking. Somethings wrong, somethings really wrong. I got off of her bed and ran to the front door, putting my shoes on as fast as I could.
"Tom!" She came running out after me, "Where are you going? What's wrong?"
I looked up at her hurt expression, my heart crumbling into a million pieces. This is not the time for this to be happening, but it was. I felt a tear slip down my cheek as I opened the door, "Bill"


-----------------------


ooooh.
BTW - the dog, Sasha, is based off of one of my dogs.
picturee!! -
http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q155/jemaly-/random/DSC04619.jpg
http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q155/jemaly-/random/DSC04666.jpg   (close up! ;p)
so yeah, that's her when she was a puppy (8 weeks old, 5-6 pounds)
she's over a year old now, but still tiny (35ish pounds)
but she's not a pure breed (husky + minature sheperd) so yeah ;p

anyways, comment :)
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"OH EMM GEEEE! YOU'RE TOM KAULITZ!" Okay, so I tried my best to not be recognized, but I guess it didn't work to well. I was wearing my white sweat suit, but I've worn that out before. Not to mention it's hard to hide dreadlocks, so I just put the hood of the sweater on. Now that some ugly bitch had recognized me and screamed it at the top of her lungs, dozens of people were crowding around me. What am I supposed to do? I'm standing in the middle of the mall, by myself, without any of the guys knowing I'm here. I probably should have brought Tobi or Saki, but it never crossed my mind before. I sighed and pulled off my hood, no use now.

"Can I get a picture with you?"
"Can I have your autograph?"
"Can I have a hug?"
"Can I have a kiss?"
"Can I shake your hand?"
"Can I touch your hair?"

The questions just never end. I raised my hands up, "I'm sorry, but I'm kind of in a rush"
"Awww! Please!?"
"Really, I'm supposed to be somewhere in half an hour" I began walking away, with all of them trailing behind.
"Oooh! Where?" I rolled my eyes, like I'd actually tell them.
"Bye" I turned around, waving and smiling, but they continued to follow. I pretended like they weren't there, but it was hard when they were pulling at my hair, grabbing my shit, taking pictures, trying to hand me a marker for autographs. I stopped walking and they all got excited.
"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG TOM!"
I turned around to face them all, smiling, "Look, I know you guys are fans and all, but I really don't have time for any of this. I'd like some privacy, please and thank you"
They looked hurt, but I could care less right now. All that matters right now is that I get a dog for Aidah and get to her house in half an hour.
"Can we at least have a group hug?"
I laughed lightly and opened my arms. They screamed and crowded in, each of them trying to get as close as possible to me. This hug was nothing like any of the other hugs I have given to fans. I just wanted it to be over. I hated the fact that there were over a dozen girls trying to hug me. I saw a couple of flashes go off and looked up to see the paparazzi.

"Okay, I have to go" I pushed them off of me, turning around quickly and pulling on my hood. I walked away as fast as I could, but the damage was done. That picture is going to be all over by tomorrow, and that made me worried. What will Aidah think? Will she understand? I kept walking, but the girls and the paparazzi followed me. I looked at my watch and saw that I only had fifteen minutes to get to Aidah's. Shit, it's a twenty minute drive from here. I need to get out of here, I'll get Aidah a dog another day. I began walking for the exit, but stopped right in front of the pet shop. In the front window was a tiny white dog with crystal blue eyes, tiny pointed ears and a bushy tail. Husky, has to be a husky.

C'mon Tom, get out of here.

I shook my head and kept walking. I was almost at the exit, but again, I stopped walking. All I could think about was that dog, and how much Aidah would love it. I pivoted and began walking back towards the pet shop, pulling out my phone to call Aidah.

"Hello?"
"Hey babe"
"Tom!" I could tell she was smiling, which made me smile instantly.
"So listen, I'm going to be a bit late.."
"Oh" I could tell her smile disappeared, making mine do the same.
"Sorry"
"Oh, don't be sorry, it's okay. Where are you?"
Where am I? I can't tell her I'm at the mall. I looked back at the girls and paparazzi, who continued to follow me, "Interview. We're running a bit late. It's going to be about another twenty to thirty minutes, and it's about a twenty minute drive to your place. I should be no more then an hour, but I'll call you if it's going to be later"
"That's fine. I'll be around" She giggled, making me smile.
"Okay, well I have to go back in. See you soon.""
"Bye"

I hung up the phone and - of course - was hounded with questions from my stalkers.

"Who were you talking to?"
"Why did you call them 'babe'?"
"Are you having sex tonight?"
"Why did you lie?"
"Wow, I thought you were better then that, Tom"

At that last comment, I stopped walking and spun around. All of the girls were standing there in awe except for one. That one had her arms crossed and her head tilted upwards. It was obvious that she was the one that made that comment, "I am better then that! You don't know who I was talking to. You don't know why I'm here. You don't know why I lied. You don't know anything! But I sure as hell know that I lied for a reason, to do something that is going to make someone very happy. And how can you even say that!? You don't even know me! Get a life and stay out of mine!" Once I was finished my rant, I realized that an even bigger crowd has formed.

Fuck.

I quickly lowered my hands, which were in the air in frustration. I looked around at the crowd, who were all wide eyed with their mouths opened slightly.

Fuck my life.

"Sorry" I turned back to the girl. She still had her arms crossed and her head tilted slightly.
"Nah, don't be. I should be the one to say sorry."
"No, no, you shouldn't"
"Well it was pretty mean of me to purposely make a comment that I knew would make you crack" She smirked.
"How did you know it would make me crack?" This girl got me curious.
"You were talking to Aidah, weren't you?"

What - when - why - how?

She laughed, "I'll take that as a yes. I'm Yulia, Aidah and Erika's best friend" She stuck out her hand for me to shake. I grabbed her hand, but instead of shaking it, I led her away from the crowd. Of course the crowd followed, but at least we weren't in the middle of it now.
"How did you know I was talking to her? How did you know I was here? Why did you make that comment? What are you trying to do?" I whispered at her.
"Pure luck. I talked to Aidah this morning, she told me everything. I just assumed you were talking to her since you said 'Hey babe' and said that you were going to be late, because if what Aidah told me was true, you were supposed to be at her house in" She pulled out her cellphone to look at the time, "Ten minutes. I didn't know you were going to be here, I was just shopping for a gift for my mom's birthday. Why did I make that comment? Well I had to get your attention somehow. Sorry about that, by the way. And I'm not trying to do anything."
I nodded, not saying anything but continuing to pull her.
"Your turn to answer questions"
"Okay..."
"What are you doing at the mall? Why are you going to be late? Why did you lie?" I laughed and she looked confused, "What?"
"All of the questions have to same answer"
"Really?" She raised her eyebrows, smirking, "So answer them"
"I came here to get Aidah a dog, since I know hers died not to long again. I lost track of time and got hounded by fans, oh and it's a surprise, so.." I drifted off, knowing she knew the rest.
"Well then, that would explain why you took me to a pet store" She looked up at the name of the store, then into the store.
"That one" I pointed to the tiny white dog.
"Aidah would love her"
I smiled, letting go of her hand and fully walking into the store to find the store clerk.
"Ohhmyygooddd" I turned to see a girl with black pants and a red vest on.
"Hey, uhm, you work here, right?"
"Yeah" She nodded nervously.
"Can I see the white one in the window?"
"Sure" She turned around, shakily unlocking a door. She disappeared for a second and came back with the dog in her arms, "You, you can hold her"
I smiled, outstretching my arms and she placed the pup in my arms. The dog was tiny, about five pounds and the length of my forearm.
"Should I get her?" I turned around, thinking Yulia was right there, but she wasn't. I looked around then noticed her talking to some of the girls that were following me, "Yulia!" She shot around, smiling and walking ove